Wrong
by RobinNicole
Summary: Chase had married Maya. However it was Akari who he'd always truly wanted, but he'd lost her to Gill. When Akari and Gill's baby dies Akari realizes she doesn't love Gill anymore. She let Chase comfort her, but never thought she would fall for him too.
1. Chapter 1

**So I took a brake from writing Harvest Moon Fan fictions, I guess I just lost interest for a while.**

**You all know that I don't own Harvest Moon. If I did, I definitely would not be writing a fan fiction for it-I'd be too busy creating more of it.**

**This is an idea for a story I've had for a while. **

**Rated: T, because even though there are parts that **_**could **_**lead to M rated stuff-they don't. Because I'm not old enough to write that kind of story.**

_Akari Pov_

This is so wrong…

I know this is wrong, so why am I allowing it? I'm happily married to Gill, or so… I think it can be described as 'happy,' right? I… don't know. I don't know if we're married 'happily.'

I barely know what 'happy' is any more.

It's probably something way too cliché and maybe a bit melancholy… I've been told my whole life by my father that such feelings are crap… and I've been told my whole life by my mother that such feelings are what make the world go 'round. …They love each other _so _much.

Gill and I are married-that means we're bound to each other until death, but is Gill really what makes me happy; or feel happy?

_Gill and I are married…_

So why am I being kissed by Chase at the moment?

Why do I want him to keep kissing me?

I slowly wrap my thin arms around Maya's husband's shoulders. _Maya is my friend! Maya is… my… friend? How can I defy her like this? Why am I not pushing him away!_

The answer is simple: _I can't. There's a monster deep inside of me that wakes up when only Chase is near-the monster doesn't want Gill. Only Chase. The part of me that loves Gill is quickly retreating, and she's in no way reluctant to let the monster rule the kingdom. The kingdom named, 'Akari.' _

_The monster is more than willing to let Chase do what he wants with me, _no matter _what it is he wants to do. The monster is quickly eating the old Akari from the inside out, and she isn't even complaining; in fact, she's enjoying it. She enjoys the feeling of Chase's lips moving against hers, she doesn't care how easily she can be torn apart. She's blind to everything but her desire for Chase._

_A person she can't have._

His arms unwrap themselves from my waist as his lips leave mine, and he gasps for air; my arms still around his neck. He pants for a second and a small blush blooms on my cheeks as I take in what just happened, I gasped as I realized how wrong it all was. "Chase, we can't d-"

He interrupts me by quickly linking his hands behind my head and slamming our lips together again, running his fingers through my short brown hair as his tongue silently slips past my lips. As my brown eyes flicker shut I tighten my grip on his neck.

I didn't want this.

_The monster wanted this!_

_No_; a tear slipped past my eye lid, _I _am _the monster. I want Chase. I knew there had to be a reason I was so freaking pissed the day of their wedding-there's only one question left though._

_Is this _want _love? Or… is it just lust?_

_Do I love Chase? Of course he and I had dated when we were still in high school, when we were still teenagers-but had it really continued to progress to love even after we'd stopped seeing each other outside of school or the bar? I had worked at the bar each night even after Chase and I broke up, and he always made me smile no matter what the cost it came to him. He always wiped away my tears when I was sad-when my dad died he was there; Gill wasn't._

_When Julius dumped me, Chase had lent me a shoulder to cry on and didn't ask for anything in return._

_When I started to date Gill, Chase had started pranking him every chance he got-I knew he'd be that way and I really had tried to keep it a secret from Chase, but Luna let it slip…_

_Once we graduated from Waffle High and Gill and I became engaged it seemed like something inside him just snapped. He stayed at the bar until the very early morning hours just cleaning it very, _very _slowly. He never left his house until it was absolutely needed-unlike the way he had always used to walk around town before he went to work. When you saw him-if you were even _lucky _enough to see him, he'd be sporting big bags beneath his eyes._

_That was when I knew._

_He wanted me to be his._

_But at that time I had been hopelessly in love with Gill, and even though I wanted Chase to get better-I had really, _really _wanted to marry Gill. So I did. Only to find now that it was a huge mistake…_

_After Gill and I were married(Chase failing to even attend the wedding, may I add), Chase never looked at me the same way. He used to look at me with childish smirks and playful winks. But then he was looking at me with guilty desire, inward shame, but simply want-the way a child looks at a toy he wants more then anything, but he can't afford. The toy he hates wanting. The toy he'd do anything to obtain._

_I was that toy…_

_Then Maya came to him desperately, begging him to marry her. For her, he was the unattainable toy. When he agreed; somewhat reluctantly, she thought she had obtained him-but she was wrong, I could tell by the way he looked at me that he still yearned for me. Chase started getting better-but mostly only because Maya was forcing healthiness down his throat, and he had told me he was getting sick of her stupidity and her ridiculous antics._

_Still, he started smiling again-if only when he was with me._

_He even told me about some of the hilarious things Maya had done to try to seduce him, and how every one of her plots failed miserably in their own unique way._

_We were close to each other again-and I was happy to be friends with him again, but I continued to see that longing in his eyes. I knew it must pain him to be so close to me and yet not be able to touch-but I loved being with Chase as a friend so much that I couldn't break our friendship. Even though I knew it hurt him so much to be near me._

_That fall I was carrying Gill's child, and Chase was cranky again. He still hung out with me-and still did his best to make me smile, but I could still tell that it was nagging at him-you know, the fact that the kid in my tummy was Gill's and not _his. _He'd always smile at me, but when he let his eyes slip further down and rest on my stomach; he'd scowl. Once Luke had saw him glaring at my stomach, and asked him if he also thought Gill's seed was capable of killing a woman from the inside out._

_Chase; of course, answered this by bursting into uncontrollable laughter._

_It was the last day of winter that I visited the clinic to have Jin check on the baby that I got the news._

_The baby had died inside of me._

_I couldn't control my sadness, and I wanted to deny it so much-I didn't want to believe that something so beautiful, and so made completely of true love could die so easily. My heart was all but shattered at the terrible news, and I pretty much just lost myself-that's the only way I can think of to describe it. I didn't even give him a chance to remove it from my body before I ran from the clinic in tears, and I didn't stop running until I reached the one place where no one would find me. I knew Jin would call Gill and then some way or another a search party would end up coming to look for me, but it didn't matter to me; I knew they'd never find me here._

Made completely of true love.

_Was it really, 'true love?'_

_No._

_And suddenly I didn't want anything more than I wanted that __**thing **__removed from inside of me, I wanted it gone. It wasn't love! It was never love! That child wasn't made 'completely of true love,' that was simply what I wanted myself to believe; I wanted to believe a lie. I wanted to continue to blindly believe I was in love with Gill, even though my sub conscience clearly knew it hadn't wanted him. _Anymore_**. **__But what _did _it want now?_

_I was clueless, so I hugged my knees to my chest and put my forehead to them. I could hear voices in the distance calling out my name, but I tried my best to ignore them and simply remained so quiet that I could have died in that very position; on that very spot. I wasn't crying anymore._

_Silence._

_I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders silently, and I looked up to have my brown eyes met by violet ones. Suddenly the tears came again. He was sitting with beside me, and I crawled in to his lap. I brought my lips to his ear and whispered, "Don't tell them where I am… Please, don't let them find me." I leaned back away from his head and our eyes met again, and in his I saw that he wanted more than anything to fulfill my request, but also that he knew he couldn't. But he was still looking down upon my tear stained face, and he began to battle inwardly with himself-and he was slowly coming to a decision._

_He hugged me to his chest very tightly, and he whispered back, "I promise I won't."_

_I cried into his shirt for a long, long time. He held me again; and once again, he asked me for nothing return. Then eventually I fell asleep with my head resting on his shoulder, and awoke the next morning in my bed at home. I didn't open my eyes though, I needed the time to think. I thought about Chase and how he was there for me yet again, and I thought about some of the other times he's been there for me-and that was when the monster awoke. As it rubbed it's eyes and stretched from the long, long nap it had taken when Chase and I broke up; it told me that it wanted him._

_And so he was what she'd better get._


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for all the nice reviews I received!**

**I realize now that last chapter hadn't been in 3rd**** person at all, but instead it was on 1****st**** person. So I've decided to continue writing in 1****st**** person, because I'm used to it, and I'm too lazy to change it.**

**Yeah… I just admitted to being lazy… I'm proud. :D**

_Akari POV_

_Tonight I'd been working a part time job at the Inn as usual, and Chase and I were together as usual-though it was harder to control myself when I was with him. I had recently decided that the difficulty didn't bother me; when I'd moved to this island at the naïve age of thirteen, Chase instantly became my best friend. I was _not _about to give that up because of feelings that I didn't want, feelings I couldn't control. I really did love Chase, but only as _friend. _When the monster awoke and told me yet again that it wanted something more, it was simply infuriating for me to have to handle._

_Why did life on Waffle Island have to be so difficult?_

_I hadn't been sure if I could handle it very much longer, and luckily for me the Inn would be closing in only a tiny bit less than ten minutes. Yolanda and Chase were busy in the kitchen, but Chase had the guts enough to converse with me from behind the bar while I continued to wipe tables. Yolanda; of course, didn't find this very funny at all and scowled at him as she attempted to continue cooking. Maya was doing her regular rounds… or was she. Seemed more like talking with Kathy, glancing over at her husband and giggling afterwards to me. She was probably scheming again tonight. I thought I would be free of Chase's presence soon tonight and that I'd be home soon._

_I had none such luck._

"_I'd be willing to stay late and clean up tonight," Chase begins, "You guys all look exhausted."_

_The other Inn workers were agreeing in unison._

_Maya smiled widely, "I'll head back to the house before you, so you can stay here to help clean up. I'll be waiting!" She winked, not so innocently._

_Yolanda then turned on me, "You'll stay with Chase and help him clean up, right?"_

Say no! No! _My conscience screamed at me, _Say No! _"Sure."_

_She gave me a small smile, "Good, make sure he doesn't take all night again…"_

_I nod, "Of course."_

_I had to help out, it was one of those things I could never let myself turn down. I could tell I wasn't the only one who was a bit upset I was staying to help Chase, he himself looked like he was struggling with himself-trying to decide if he should tell Yolanda he'd rather me not stay. It wasn't like I blamed him, but if I was willing to force myself to stay around him longer than necessary, than so should he. I forced myself to smile at him and went to get a bucket so I could mop the floors._

…and that's how I ended up in the Inn at one in the morning, having my face practically eaten by Chase.

It's not that I'm not enjoying myself, either….but I'm worried someone might see us through the windows, or Yolanda might come back in claiming she forgot something, or Colleen or Jake will come down the stairs. I'm worried that some how, Maya or Gill would find out that Chase and I were having a make-out session at the Inn. I'm worried because I know Gill would never forgive me, he'd tell me some thing along the lines of: "_I loved you, and I thought you loved me too. I trusted you, and yet you would go behind my back and kiss another man! Akari, how could you…"_

What would Maya say? Well, she'd probably mention the fact that we were friends. She'd remind me of the fact that Chase is her husband, and Gill is mine. How she can't believe that I'd be her friend and then stab her in the back with her husband. Then she might walk away…if I'm lucky.

For a second I wondered if I should savor this moment, especially since Chase is the one I've secretly had a thing for since the night I ran away… I came to the conclusion that this moment definitely does _not_ deserve to be savored, isn't this a sin since we're both married? I was once again brought back to my thoughts of, '_this is wrong.' _But how can I really tell that to Chase? It didn't seem like he was going to stop kissing me any time soon, and I highly doubt he'd let me go even if he did give me time to speak. I needed to tell him that I didn't want him. Even if that _is_ a lie…

It was extremely difficult to force my hands to move to his chest and attempt to push him away, but I could feel deep with in me that he and I did _not _belong doing this…even if the feelings of want were mutual. I thought it through, and I've decided that putting an end to this is best-for both of us. If someone found out it would be simply too disastrous, and there would be way too many consequences…

When our lips parted again and he looked at me with a questioning gaze, I knew I had to say it quickly-before the monster betrayed me again. As I was about to open my mouth, he pulled me toward him and hugged me to his chest. I was still going to lie, still going to protest-until his scent hit my nostrils. I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it before, this amazingly intoxicating good smell coming from him. Just like that, the monster found the strength to take over again. It was a predator who'd just sniffed the air, and caught a whiff of it's favorite prey.

Then the logic was gone, leaving in it's place an animal that didn't care who saw, who heard, what the consequences were, how Maya or Gill would feel-this despicable person was left who didn't care who's feelings she'd hurt. Before I even knew what I was doing, I leaned up and pulled Chase's lips to mine again.

I decided it was time to give up, time to forget the boundaries I had to remind myself of all the time-the need was too strong. I decided to stop pretending I that I wasn't craving him so much it made me highly question my own sanity, and so here I was kissing Chase back-both of us having our arms wrapped around the other. As our lips moved hungrily against each other's, I continued to ask myself if I was really psychotic enough to cross this line, to walk this path. Then I told myself that I didn't really care-that I'm happy being psychotic as long as I can be with Chase and kiss him this way. I know now that I love him, I truly do love him.

As we brake apart, do his shortage of oxygen it was quite difficult for him to choke out, "I love you Akari."

I was still gasping for air, but still smiled at him brightly. "I love you too." And then I was pulled back into his arms, and assaulted with kisses again. The kisses were sweeter, gentler-but they were still kisses. They were still a form of Chase's love, so they were gladly accepted.

I was happy to be with him here, but I didn't know what we were going to do after tonight. Could we ever truly be together? People didn't get divorces on Waffle Island, did they?

I ask myself that question, but I already know the answer: No, they don't. So I should know not to want something I can never have, but then again-Chase should know better than to want something he can't have too. My logic is starting to brake through, yet again. If only it could stay consistent enough for me to end this. It seems every time I'm about to, something happens that the monster is able to feed on. Something always happens that gives the monster power. I can never truly silence it.

I'd know because every time I think it's gone, and I can be near Chase again…it comes back at the least expected moment, usually a moment when I'm very close to Chase. That makes it very, very hard to control myself in that instant.

As our lips meet, the logic slips away…again.

_I can't escape this anyway, so why not make the best of it for now? Chase is definitely an attractive man, if he was still a bachelor then I'd…_

This is still incredibly wrong! Gill would be so mad, what did he ever do to deserve such an unfaithful wife…

_Gill could never compare to this, he could never satisfy me this way. Chase just feels so different than him, his scent, his lips, his eyes… Chase is selfish, stubborn, hard headed, etc. Of course he acts mature; but he can also be funny, and childish in the fact he always wants the last word. When he's with me he's always been sweet, he's always cared about me, kept my secrets, held me when I was sad. Gill was a mistake. Gill _is _a mistake. The mistake that is going to keep me away from the person who I've fallen in love with, the one who was always there when I needed him._

Yes, but what's done is done. I think we should-

_Gill isn't right for us, Chase is! He's always been here with us. Who always took us to all the school dances? Who dated us for two years and continued to look out for our well being even after we broke up? Who held us when the baby-_

Don't you dare mention the-

_The baby! The baby! I just said it twice. What are going to do about it? You're not in charge anymore._

I'm-

_Not in charge anymore!_

Our lips meet again and again as my logic sits in a dark corner in the back of my mind, it can no longer protest. His arms are tightly wound around my waist, and mine are still around his neck. They'd been there since practically the beginning. Our lips pressed together again and again, his arms tightening around me again and again. Before I know it, my back is against the cold wall. I was unable to sense anything but Chase right now, I'd become an animal who wanted what it wanted. An animal who only ever got lost in the moment.

We broke apart again, gasping for air. A thought struck me. "I want to stay with you, but I don't want to stay here." I managed to get it out. The Inn made me think about Maya, Yolanda, Colleen, and Jake-all the people who might murder me(Besides Gill) if they find out Chase and I are cheating. I didn't want to think about them what so ever, I wanted to enjoy being with Chase-and silence the thoughts of the people who'd protest our relationship. Then; of course, I realized there was not one person on this island who wouldn't protest our relationship…so I guess it will have to remain a secret forever.

It's not that I really hoped I could tell someone, I knew that the thought was worthless from the beginning-I knew that it I told anyone I'd be thrown into the flames. I came to the conclusion that I still couldn't let anyone find out about Chase and I. This was difficult enough, with out the added difficulty of dealing with someone who knew. I was already damned, so I really did not want it to get any worse**_._**


	3. Chapter 3

"**Today was my first day of school.**

…**in fact, my first day of **_**high **_**school. So from now on, you can expect a new chapter to be up every Sunday. I still can't believe I'm a freshman… " **

**That's what I originally wrote as my starting author's note for this chapter-when I started it a year and a half ago… I know I am a horrible person who decided to discontinue this after people had asked for more-I think one person actually begged….well, here I am a year later with the new chapter…. *Shot***

**Oh and round of applause for Stalker!Luna. *Crickets* I know…I don't like her too much either.**

"Where do you want to go then?" Chase inquired, smiling whole heartedly. I hadn't seen such a genuine smile touch his facial features in such a long time, and I really couldn't believe that that smile was now on his face because of me. I knew for sure as soon as I saw that smile that I wanted to see him wear it often, so I hope that I can be with him like this again really soon so I could see that smile again. Over the years I mostly saw him smirk deviously; usually after pranking someone back during highschool, but that childish expression could never compare to this rare, real, beautiful smile.

"You know I possess more than one plot of land and house. Gill never goes into my second cottage, so we can go there." I smiled back at him, as he took my hand.

_Luna POV_

I knew it was a pretty sick thing for me to do, every night I'd sneak towards Akari's farm. I sometimes watched as Gill slept-next to a wife who would never truly deserve him. I peered in through the windows and used what little light there was in order to pick out his face.

I know I sound a bit out of it; but truthfully, I do feel that he never should have married her. He should have married me; I love him more than she'll ever be able to. She just doesn't deserve him.

Well, I know I probably seem unreasonable since I never really talk to her at all-but I do know she should have backed off when she had the chance. I'm better suited for him; I actually go to see him at the Town Hall; when she, his wife, does not. I mean, at first I thought they were happy together…I was going to back off and let Gill be happy. That was before their unborn baby died, and Akari had that major melt down. After that, I saw them get further apart every single day. They just weren't that happy, laughing couple they were before. In fact, she spent the majority of her time at the Sundae Inn with that chef.

Since then, I've just been waiting for the right moment to interject. The right moment to hopefully take over where Akari left off. I know it isn't right to chase after a married man, but with a wife like Akari who's barely ever with him-he practically isn't married at all.

I was passing the Inn as it began to drizzle, and I mentally cursed. I found the rain infuriating; after all, it always ruined my hair. I continued walking the path that was burned into my memory like the back of my hand, the path which I'd walk every night after dark. My foot steps' sounds were muffled by the sound of the rain colliding with the moist, cool, earth around me. The drops beginning to come down harder, pelting me and soaking my hair. Maybe it's just my luck.

Either way, by the time I enter Caramel River District the thunder is booming loudly over head and my pig tails have fallen straight. This time the profanity is said out loud. I wanted to turn back now, before the storm got any worse-but I don't know how to explain it, I just felt like something was willing me to venture further into the district. Like there was something I was meant to see.

Needless to say, I followed the urge to keep walking despite the dangers that lurked behind the action. I rounded the first bend in the road, bringing the town plot into view-and as the lightening flashed, I saw something move inside Akari's second cottage. Now-I usually wasn't the type to sneak and spy…oh, who am I kidding? I snuck right up to the window, and looked in; waiting for the lightening to fill the one room house with light again.

As the light came and revealed what was happening with in the room my mouth fell open, it was Akari and Chase. There. Together. Kissing. Hugging.

I knew that Akari didn't belong with Gill, but I never knew she'd already fallen in love with someone else-and the fact that Chase is married too makes me want to laugh. Still; I know I can work this to my advantage. Gill will be mine very, very soon… I know I'd never cheat on him, I'm sure he'd be too good of a catch for any of that crap to take place. I smirk to myself and pull myself away from the window and head towards the house where Gill is currently sleeping, my smirk becomes a smile as the rain begins to let up.

Akari was lucky to have gotten someone like Gill in the first place, then she'd be so stupid as to neglect him and cheat on him? How could a man like Chase compare to a man like Gill? Chase is stubborn, hard-headed, childish, bitter, rude, discourteous, inconsiderate-although half of the words I just listed to describe him mean the same thing…still!

I quickly made quick business of the remainder of the path that lie between the house were Gill slept and I. I needed to be quick-awaken him with hysterics. There's something he needs to see, I'll say…

I slow down as I approach the level 5 house at the very end of the path, the lovely exterior calming me if only for a moment. I give a very quick, quite loud myriad of knocks before backing away only a foot from the door where I can already hear someone approaching. Soon the door had swung open to reveal a very tired Gill who was lazily rubbing the dust from the corners of his eyes. I took only a second to admire him before I began to jump up and down and threw barely pronounced words at him. He seemed confused for a moment, but allowed himself to be pulled and I took his arm impatiently and began to lead him down the pathway.

"Luna? Where are you taking me?"

"We don't have time to talk Gill, run! We need to get there before it's over!"

I pulled him beside the window and we stared in together-I could see by the way his eyes became alert that he recognized the two people in front of him. To my dismay though, they were no longer kissing. I pulled the window experimentally and it slid up about an inch-the two inside seemed not to notice. Gill and I both put our ears closer to the crack.

Despite the wind and rain around us, we could hear quite well. "Chase-on Waffle Island there are no divorces…this really won't work."

Gill's eyes widened further, "But!" Chase thought for a moment, "Just as couples find the blue feather just when they need it…Maybe you'll find a second one as well. This is what was meant to be. I've always felt it."

"I know, but-"

"Do you love Gill?"

A pause.

"I will not answer a question such as this. I will simply say that if my feelings have faded, it does not change the fact that I am his wife."

"So is this it?" Chase scowled, "You kissed me back, you heal my heart for a moment-only to rip it to shreds once more?""I did not intend this, I assure you of that. Being near you makes my mind fog, and nothing can make me stop and think for a moment. Do you see how now I take my time and distance?" Akari gesticulated.

"I'll rephrase the question: Do you love me? You told me only thirty minutes ago that you did. Were you lying?"

Akari wiped a tear away-one which she failed to hold back as she held her breath and scrunched up her face in an effort not to cry. "I was not lying. I love you Chase. Far more than I have ever loved Gill." I watched as Gill also began to cry, and something broke inside me as well-I hadn't meant to make him sad. Perhaps I should have thought this through a bit more? Before I had time to reflect on the thought I saw that Gill was gone from my side. I hurried to turn my eyes back toward the window rather than my ear.

Chase and Akari were kissing again, his arms tight around her waist and her fingers tangled in his hair. They hurriedly broke apart as they heard Gill open the door, "Get away from my wife!"

Akari turned toward Gill and grabbed Chase's arm, thinking about how Gill could possibly have known that the two of them were there. Chase put his hand in hers and they silently turned to face Gill. He was red faced and tear stained, showing signs of having slept only moments before-his blond hair was a mess and he was clad in his night clothes.

"You may tell him you love him more than me-but I wish to know if you love whatsoever!" Akari used her unoccupied hand to wipe another escaping tear.

"Gill…you are a dear friend to me! I jus-" Gill didn't wait.

"That's not enough!" Gill just looked angry now, "That's shit Akari and you know it!" His language shocked everyone who heard, they had never heard the mayor's son use such language. "If you want Chase that's fine with me, I'm moving back in with my father. Once I tell him what's happened here I'm sure he'll pull some strings. I guess you've got the freedom you needed." Gill left, but they could all hear him begin to cry, his wailing increasing in volume by the moment.

Akari turned toward Chase, "I…can't believe this!" She slowly unintwined her hands from his and slowly sunk in on her self, shielding her vital organ from an unseen opponent. She sobbed to her knees, "How could we have done that…" She stuttered and shook, "I was his wife for years, I know better than anyone… he's only acting angry, and mean but he isn't. He's really, really hurt! He's human just as you or I. That feeling which found you when I married him…Chase-do you not see that he must feel the same for us now?

"What do I do," she cries, "When I want neither of you to be sad? When for neither of you to be sad I must choose you both, but choosing you both is not an option!" She tried to stand up but fell to her knees once more, "I tried to follow what the monstrous instincts told me to do, but it only hurt him. That is not what I wanted." He came to her side and tried to hold her, but for the first time she would not allow him, "I love you so much Chase, " she whispered, "but to have hurt Gill…I think I need sometime to think alone." She sniffed and pushed him away.

He hesitated a moment, "I don't want you to ever be alone when you cry."

She looked up at him, "No one deserves to be, of course. Yet, it is because of me that tonight Gill is weeping, and he walked the path to town alone! I deserve no better!"

_The monster was beginning to look more and more human._

_Chase looked very sad, "I love you very much Akari." He took a step forward and ran his fingers over her hair. "I've loved you for a very long time, and I will continue to love you for even longer. I promise you that."_

"_If you love me, you will leave and return in the morning."_

_He took his hand back and nodded his head. He looked back continuously on his way to the door-frightened for the woman he loved, but wanting to fulfill her request. Once Akari heard the door click close, the dam broke and she began to cry harder than I had seen anyone cry before. I slowly got up and left to find Gill. But for once I realized that Akari may not have been judged fairly by me._


	4. Chapter 4

**I am so inconsistent-what's this? Now a chapter in third person….?**

A knock, quiet and yet earth shattering was delivered to Angela's front door the next morning. The rain pelted Chase and the wind beat against Angela's house, but to Angela everything had been so quiet before.

"Hey." She muttered and slowly moving away from the door to allow Chase through it. He immediately headed to the kitchen to empty the basket he had brought with him-but not fast enough to miss the state Angela was in. Her nose and eyes were red. There were dark rings around her eyes and her hair was uncombed. She rubbed at her nose some more as she followed him into her kitchen area. He unloaded numerous ingredients before she decided to sit down at her table and let him do as he pleased.

She hadn't been able to bear going to bed the night before, knowing she would be laying alone in a bed, sleeping alone in a large dark room after so long of someone being there with her. She cried at the table and left the light on all night, not baring to turn the light out as she feared the monsters-as she now knew they were real. She knew for sure that she may never be able to forgive herself for what she did to Gill, and how much she had hurt him. She did not know if she could even speak to Chase for sure this morning, she felt ashamed, self hatred was racing through her veins, she was disappointed in herself to the point where she was wondering where she had ever found the strength to say "'Hey.'"

He continuously looked over to her, a concerned look on his face as she continued to increase in her misery. She had once been so happy, why couldn't he seem to make her happy enough even when she had said that she loved him too? He wondered why things had happened the way they had and realized that he was going to begin formulating ridiculous ideas if he continued to think about it. He cringed as she laid her head down on the table in defeat, her hands clenching the edges of the table beside her head. She was a pitiful sight, beautiful-but pitiful. Her brown hair was losing its shine, and it stuck up at odd angles once she had exposed the back of her head. He took the now completed plates of food and brought them over to his love.

"Do you regret me?"

"That is not a very easy answer."

"Why?"

"I could say so many things. I could tell you that I wish I had just married you in the first place. I could tell you I wish I had never married Gill and had been single until now-I could tell you…that I wish I simply hadn't had to hurt Gill in order to be with you-but no. I suppose I don't regret you, I simply had not realized soon enough and the circumstance was not ideal."

"I'm glad at least for that."

"Really? I'm a simple farmer. Sure, for my work I've had to be strong when weather conditions were tough, when I had to plow fields for the first time, when I needed to collect hundreds of wood and material stone-but never have I ever had so much weight on my shoulders. I don't think I can take very much more of this, Chase, I really do not. I've made my decision, I want to find a way to be with you-but how can I not be looked down on after this by the rest of the town. How will Maya react? Not to mention the rest of the town?"

"Maya can bite me."

For once Akari bit back a giggle, glowing-if only for a moment. "Chase! Haha, it isn't the easy! I can't relish the thought of being stared at the way I'd imagine I will be if I go through with this. I go to town and socialize ever once and a while unlike you Mister Anti-Social. I can understand that you may fuck what everyone other than myself think-but it just isn't as easy for me as it is for you. I'm already over critical enough of myself as it is right now. I always have been."

"I don't believe I've ever heard you swear so naturally before. Oh, and P.S. You couldn't be over-critical of yourself, it must be way too difficult to find something wrong with you."

"Well thank you, but your opinion doesn't count because you were a part of the crime as well."

"What crime?"

"That's right, real mature Chase! Pretend you don't know that it may not be illegal, but to everyone else on the island we may as well be convicts. I feel like every single time either of us walks through town we'll probably be looked at by the people around as though we may as well be being dragged to the big house at that very moment. This island was always so silent and what I thought was perfection-but what if it's too perfect? What if they expected too much of us all, all along? I can feel it in my bones, they are human just like the rest of the beings in the rest of all the world."

Chase shook his head in disbelief, "Eat your breakfast, _dear, _it will be getting cold if you leave it too much longer, and I don't want to have prepared it only for it to be eaten cold and unappetizing like it will be."

"And then let me guess-you'll ask me to accompany you to town hall." She took a bite, "And Gill will have another explosion which will make me feel even more suicidal than I already became last night." Chase became deathly silent. "I love you Chase-more than the world. I do not love what I've had to do to be with you. I know-that someday-I just know deep down that someday I will look back on this and know that choosing to be with you was the best choice I made….But right now, I just need time to adjust and to make it stop_-hurting _so much."

Chase look at her lovingly, "If you need anything, _anything _I am _always _going to be right here for you, and all you need is to ask. Because I love you Akari, and I am willing to go to the ends of the Earth and back for you-and that's a promise."

Akari smiled at him, "This, I know. I love you just as much, but I…Have problems, I had mental illness-I swear after some of the things I've been through in my life and how I've reacted to them…" She wiped a small piece of hair out of one of her eyes before she grasped she fork once more, "I just worry sometimes, and I want the best for us-but how can I get that if I still am not sure exactly what that is."

He smiled back for once he was seeing that genuine smile again, how rare it was and now he was happy to see it already twice in the last two days. Kissing Akari at the Inn early in the morning after everyone had left-was going on his mental list of the best things he'd ever done. He hated himself for causing her to suffer, but in the end would the two of them not end up together? Was that not what he aimed for since the very beginning of this? He ate him food across from her in silence.

When she finished she headed outside before he finished, intending to take care of her animals before she started the day that Chase had had in mind. She fed her chickens and ducks, collected their eggs, fed the cows and sheep, milked them. She made cheese and mayonnaise-and when she exited her barn she found Chase waiting for her. He kissed her lightly on the cheek and held her hand while they walked down the path toward the town.

The rain had let up, leaving behind only clouds now, but Akari felt no better. She leaned herself against Chases side and held onto him tighter. They kept walking for a few moments and headed toward the bend, but Akari paniced knowing that around that one small bend came the town. Around that bend in the road was judgment, was unkindness, was pain that she needed to face. Before she had been innocent girl in this town who had yet to do wrong, but now she had made mistakes and knew that the people she'd known to be so kind were probably not going to act as benevolently toward her afterward. Especially Maya, Maya's family.

On such a small island gossip spreads quickly. _Oh what? Akari and Gill are separated? She was caught _cheating! _With Maya's husband! I thought they were just _best friends.

Akari buried her head in Chase's chest and they stopped walking. She was crying again. She didn't know how she could face this, what she knew was coming…because she'd seen how the islanders had treated the last man who wanted to separate from his wife, and he had not _even_ cheated. She just had not known how to stop, how to stop hurting both herself and others. She had made Chase suffer for years, now she'd hurt Gill-and looking back on her evil deeds she had made herself miserable in her self loathing.

She ran out of tears eventually, wanting, feeling the need to cry more, but being unable because of her eyes getting red and irritated from the crying that had already taken place. Chase tried to kiss her, but she did not let him, muttering something along the line of not deserving kisses after what she had done. She walked beside him down the road, but now she was taking her space the way she had the night before as they had talked. He hated when she did this-getting distant and cold.

She took a deep breath before turning the bend, but keeping her face hidden behind her now free hands. She paused after she entered the bright light of the town, slowly exposing her eyes and realizing that the world had not exploded because she had entered the war zone. Chase kissed her cheek before she could avoid it and told her, "I'll be right here. You can do this."

They walked past the Inn, which appeared to be closed-unusual for that day. She looked up at the large, intimidating windows at the top of the building. They seemed to scream at her in the voice of the family which lived inside, as well as their grandmother. Maya's voice told her that she hated her, told her she was worthless, told her that she was a disgrace to the entire island and that she was disgusting-that she didn't deserve to live. Worst of all, Akari was starting to believe that.

She grabbed Chase's hand, unable to continue walking without seeking his guidance and comfort. Perhaps, she thought that she might give herself strength if she thought of what she felt for Chase and how much she wanted to continue to be with him after what had happened in the last twenty four hours. She had of course began to want him after their experience when the baby died, but she had learned to suppress it-but when he kissed her, she knew she couldn't just stop this. He'd taken back his rightful place in her life, where she realized he had belonged all along.

He loved her. She loved him. That was that.

She walked with a new confidence in her step, the kind she had walked which when she had dated Chase in the high school-the young, yet reliable step that made Chase feel like he was slowly seeing even more of the woman he had known when he was younger. The beautiful person he's always loved. He knew she wouldn't let her fear keep her at bay, not for very long. She was beautiful, she was strong, she was insecure and would take a punch, but she always got back up.

That was just one more reason to love her, and love her he did. She was his life, and always had been. He remembers when she got married to Gill and he had broken completely down, and he had no doubt he almost killed himself.


End file.
